I love all of my friends, to death. They all mean the world to me. I have so many, and I feel greatly blessed for that.

But having so many friends isn't always easy. It's harder than it may seem to give everybody equal treatment. I know some of you feel ignored sometimes, or as if I like some of you better than others. I don't mean to. I hate not seeing those of you I don't see very often. I hate the school for splitting us up like it did. And I'm really really really sorry that I haven't made much of an effort to see you outside of classes. After school is hard, because I'm always doing something or going somewhere, so I never make plans. If others do, I do my best to participate, but I never ever make my own. I don't dislike you; I just don't have the time.

Lunch, however, I have no excuse for. I guess I just got so accustomed to going to the hospital, and then the music room, and never really gave any thought to eating in the cafeteria. I don't really like it there, but you're right; as long as we're with our friends, it doesn't matter so much that it's gross. Being together is all that counts.

And yes. Some of us are closer than others.  But that's no excuse for not paying much attention to you when you do decide to join us. I'm sorry. Next time, just come up to me and slap me, okay? Knock some sense into me. Hopefully there won't be a next time, because you don't deserve to be treated like that. I'm disgusted that I ever did that to you. I'm so, so sorry. But please don't think that it's because I like you less than my other friends; I don't! I definitely don't! I guess I'm just so used to being with them that I get wrapped up in what they're doing and am oblivious to everything else. But enough of that; I love you just as much as them, and I'm going to start treating you that way.

Twice a week, I will sit in the cafeteria with you. I don't care if no one else joins me; we need some Jessy/Jossy time! And like I said, if I ever break my promise, if I ever eat lunch with you less than twice a week, I give you permission to bite me until I bleed ;)

I miss all of you that I don't see on a regular basis. I don't dislike any of you. I've never intended to ignore or exclude a single one of you. My deepest apologies if I have.

And those of you that I do see every day: you mean so much to me, and every day I am grateful to be with you. All of you. I do not like any of you less or more than anyone else. I love you all in different ways. You're all my best friends, and I don't favour anybody. You are each special to me in your own unique way. Ignore any stupid comments I make that make it seem like I like one of you less. I'm just joking around, and more than half the time, I don't think before I talk (or type).

The 3 of us go way back. I love all the memories we have together, and can't wait for the ones we will continue to make. Neither of you get in the way of my relationship with the other; that can't happen, because you're both my best friends. And I love you both the same amount. Like I explained, our relationships are just different.

I know you can't help feeling the way you do, and I'm sorry for saying anything stupid enough to hurt you like I did. But I wasn't serious. You stand equally with her, and with the rest of our best friends. Please don't ever think that I love you any less, because I certainly don't. But I'm really really sorry that I said that, and please don't take me seriously when I make such stupid comments. 

I think we should fix this by having some more me+you time. We don't have enough of it anymore. I love being in groups of people, but sometimes it's nice to just have some one-on-one time. And I think we need more of that. A LOT more. 

I'm sorry to any of you that I've hurt lately, without meaning to. Because I don't mean to. I just get so wrapped up in everything that's going on that I lose track of the important things and say things I probably shouldn't say. That's no excuse for my actions, but it's true. 

You all mean the world to me. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for each and every one of you. 

Thank you for loving me. And I'm sorry for not showing my love enough. 

But even if I don't show it well, it is there.

It's there, and it's unconditional. It always will be.

Love is a many splendored thing, love....lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love! -  Ewan McGregor, Moulin Rouge. <3

Lylah ..

The greatest thing you will ever learn, is to love and be loved in return.